Dating while married was proving to be a challenge. Being sensual, open-minded and polyamorous was a triple challenge it had seemed. Often times, her dating profile was skipped past ‘open marriage’ and she was largely misunderstood / mistaken for someone looking for casual sex as the concept of polyamory (forming more than one loving, romantic relationship) was a foreign one to most.
As soon as the disconnect has surfaced he’d been honest and told her – he would absolutely not be able to connect emotionally for the fear of falling in love with a married woman. He’d enjoyed their connection, loved their passion, the best he could do was FWB+ as he called it. A compromise between FWB and a loving relationship she was looking to build, keeping things less frequent, more casual in a multiple partner scenario with a limited time span: all designed to not get attached.
She really liked him, the chemistry was through the roof – “perhaps I could give this configuration a try”, Alice thought to herself eager to connect with him again after a long break. Intellectually a compromise sounded like a feasible option.
The date started with an energetic connective play, deep meditative sound bowl music has quickly induced a powerful trance state. They were sitting facing each other, looking into each other’s eyes, clothed. “I know you may not want to fully connect, would you like to temporarily try it out?” quietly said Alice. Slow building, at first tentative connection, unsure, testing out the trust. She was definitely aware of the FWB concept. “How do I stay within the boundaries without making him feel uncomfortable?”, she thought. Connecting while making sure the energetic cords are removed right after the session. Acting appropriate to the situation without indulging in the depth of energetic contact.
She loved playing with his fit, incredibly responsive body. Hearing his growls as she was milking him from behind, teasing his prostate and licking his ass. He loved it all and mentioned God so often that she started wondering about his religious preferences 😉. Using him felt great too – cumming over and over again into his mouth, onto his chest. What a hot mess they were. His touch was incredible – it felt just right, she absolutely loved his directive dirty talk telling her to cum. He was so very giving, playful and amazingly creative with the use of an insertive toy he prepared for her. Limitless passion – free flowing, equal energy exchange.
Her strongest memory was his blue eyes, looking straight at her, the contact felt so intense and arousing – the energy was palpable and intoxicating. She saw his messy dark blond hair, bad boy look she loved so much about him. His fit body moving up and down, in and out of her, feeling so hot, aroused, fulfilled. Incredibly strong pulsation started at the base of the spine and went up to the heart and back down into her pussy, his hard cock, his heart and back into her. Their bodies were strongly intertwined and vibrating together. She didn’t think of FWB or + at that point. It was impossible to think. She felt submerged in an incredible haze. Fully engaged, enveloped in this sweaty, dreamy, exhilarating energy. Boundary-less.
Candle light, music and a yummy cheese platter – he’s reading his stories as she’s leaning into his chest. It feels so cozy and dare I say romantic. Never mind the stories are about his ex – his writing is excellent. Stop. Don’t go deep – you’re not allowed. Witness, notice – he will never write about you. You’re just a temporary visitor in his cozy cabin-like living room with hand-made wooden furniture. Bi-weekly passion guest.
The energy felt very intense and boundless. Alice arrived home and realized that she simply couldn’t control or contain it. Just like waves, the intensity she felt couldn’t be accurately measured out in smaller portions and spread around over a period of bi-weekly meetings. Sure, the fact that she was a demisexual and had an anxious attachment style weren’t much of a help either. Reality was messy.
The mind was wrong. Yet again. If only she could just enjoy the NOW. Stay with the sensations without giving them a meaning, not give into a fear about the future or a longing and an attachment of wanting to experience this again, perhaps she could make it work. Right now the plus just didn’t seem large enough to contain the entirety of everything she felt. Perhaps, tomorrow is another day.