A few people have asked me about a polyamorous lifestyle. Each person is unique and therefore we all need custom solutions when it comes to our relationships. Some are happy being monogamous, others – single, then there are those who prefer consensual non monogamy. Of course, there’s no judgement either way. Here is a two part story on what polyamory is, please let me know if you have any questions. I do frequently run group and private sessions/workshops on topics such as Polyamory, non monogamy and how to spice things up in Monogamous relationships.
What is polyamory you ask?
The literal translation of the word polyamory is “Loving Many”. Polyamory is a consensually open, alternative relationship lifestyle that allows for multiple romantic/sexual partners. A road less traveled…
Many people are happily monogamous. Others are content being single. Then there those who are asexual. We are all truly unique – this is the beauty of being a human… Embracing the authenticity, being true to yourself and your needs.
Monogamy and Cultural Expectations
Most of us have been raised with the cultural expectations of meeting a soul mate, falling in love and living happily ever after while being monogamous throughout the length of the marriage. This approach works for some but, unfortunately, not for others.
The reality that many people face is that the divorce rates are 50-75%, 30-60% of married partners engage in infidelity and 50% of children suffer from divorce…
According to leading Belgian psychotherapist Esther Perel, the reason why the long term monogamy may not work for everyone (why sexuality suffers, and partners don’t connect as deeply as the time passes) is due to the opposing needs human beings have.
“Fire needs air. Desire needs space.” – Esther Perel
Our two opposing needs are – security/safety and ownership on one hand; and novelty, freedom and spontaneity on the other. The more accustomed we become to our partners, the more secure – the routine kicks in and we start taking each other for granted.
There are various ways, of course, in which this duality could be approached within a context of a monogamous relationship. However, since we’re currently focusing on Polyamory, here’s more information on how this alternative model works.
To read part 2, please follow this link.