I’d like to now talk to you guys about sexual shame, guilt, body awareness and confidence. Here’s a first part of the story I recently wrote on sexuality – i. e. our life force. I will share parts 2 and 3 over the next few days…

…Deep within us lives a force – a powerful energy of self-expression, joy and ultimate pleasure. Deep within us exists an element that shape shifts. It burns in strongest passionate flames, and simmers as it teases our senses. It flows calmly while undisturbed and violently explodes in huge waves of passion and sensuality. This very force is closely connected to our life force, creativity and self-expression. The force called sexuality.

Societal judgments, shame, guilt are some of the blocks that stop complete and free expression of sexuality. Change the way we see it, skew our frame of reference. Internalized, these judgments create internal walls – separating sexuality from the entirety of ourselves, blocking our creative expression. At times, making us turn against our very core.

“Forbidden… That’s how Alice has always thought of self-pleasuring ever since. Bad. This was not even a conscious thought – more of a feeling, a notion that she has never questioned. A rule…

Going through life, growing up, becoming sexually interested and excited. Fantasizing about others, looking at herself in the mirror, getting aroused… And NEVER touching herself. As though there was an invisible wall that surrounded her whole body. Touch was allowed, but not for pleasure. Bathe, dry, dress, take care – but not enjoy. Feeling like a prisoner in the outer-imposed walls of prudishness and conformity.

Fantasizing of others – caressing her, raping her, undressing in front of a mirror. Wishing someone to come and penetrate this notion of separateness… Staying without a release. For years. In a self-induced subconscious chastity.”