When I was first embarking on the personal development journey, I remember a wise person telling me that we go through three stages in life:
Growing up we accept and learn from those who surround us about life’s principles, values, norms and expectations; we adapt their belief systems
Later in life we realize that there are different ways of looking at the same subject, multiple belief systems and truths among people
Finally we arrive at peeling off all of the layers and questioning them with scrutiny – deciding for ourselves which beliefs we want to keep and which ones are not serving us any longer
The most important work I do is centered around shame.
As probably many of you know I come from a very conservative upbringing and the feelings of shame, guilt and judgement around sexuality accompanied me throughout my teen and late into my 20s. I had to dig deep, shine some light into these shadows and question / release any beliefs that were not serving me prior to allowing myself to feel free and aligned with my sexual force inside.
Meet my incredible personal transformation client B., she’s a successful entrepreneur from Canada. B. and I have been exploring Personal Transformation, Relationships, Sexual Guidance and Self Confidence
Here’s what she had to say about her experience working with me:
“I came across SpiritSexLab in Instagram, and don’t really recall what algorithms and clicks brought me to her page but I am so happy I landed there.
Surrounding ourselves with wonderful people, doing the things we love, growing in the direction of our dreams allows us to excel 😉
I’m so thrilled to be getting this feedback! I always make sure these four elements are included with all my sessions and workshops:
Holistic, multidimensional mindfulness based experientials (body, mind, heart and soul)
Safe space, open and judgement-free guidance – poly and kink friendly
Energetic take home techniques and useful practices
Deep, transformational professional healing
Want to feel invigorated and alive? I had to increase the number of participants allowed for tonight’s free webinar (we’re at 50 now), but there’s now room for more! Everyone will get a recording of the session. We will have a wonderful healing meditation during our time together tonight! Join me at 7pm: https://spiritsexlab.as.me/EnergyOrgasm, Can’t wait!
FOCUS IS EVERYTHING. Shifting focus from being in the epicenter of the painful emotions to becoming the space around them. Witnessing the pain, fear, anger, rage while holding space for yourself takes an edge on and allows to settle down and soften the pain. “Pain is the mind. It’s the thoughts of the mind. Then I get rid of the thoughts, and I get in my witness, which is down in my spiritual heart. The witness that witnesses being. Then those particular thoughts that are painful – love them.”
Purple light district (more polyamory related, erotic stories can be found at www.aliceinpolyland.com)
He was a tech guru. Incredibly smart, unique, tall, handsome. Though he didn’t really believe the latter. His last relationship left him questioning his self confidence.
“Do you know why the Red Light District in Amsterdam has that name?”, asked Valen over one of their casual online chats. “I’m not sure, babe, why?” “The sex workers turn on the red lights to attract their customers… I will turn my lights purple whenever I’m in the mood.” he texted
SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-LOVE WORK; DISCOVERING ESSENCE
So many of us are quite self critical, unsure of how to love ourselves unconditionally and are lucking self confidence. I’ve been there myself multiple times – feeling ashamed of my own desires, thoughts and needs. Unable to look at myself in the mirror without criticizing the way I looked. Getting easily upset with my own emotional reactions and “sensitivities”.
The good news is, that Neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to change itself constantly by creating new neural pathways and losing those which are no longer used) allows us to change negative patterns of thinking into the positive ones.
“Your problem is you’re… too busy holding onto your unworthiness.”
Yes. There’s a personal story connected to this saying. One day at a rock climbing gym as I was reaching the top of the tall climbing wall I had a moment of intense fear. “You can’t do it”, – the fear said to me “this is unsafe, you will fall down, you’re just not strong enough”. It was a momentary uncomfortable experience, fear gripping my whole body and thoughts racing in my head. I looked down and saw my partner belaying me (essentially I was being held by a strong rope and so no matter what would happen, the worst outcome would’ve been me just dangling a bit in the air until I grabbed onto a stone again). I took a deep breath and looked up and noticed that I only had 3 more stones to go, I knew I was physically strong enough to proceed. And then it hit me “I was the one stopping myself. Always”.