One of the most powerful ideas with regards to pleasure and sexuality that I’ve come across in my years of researching it is very simple. It’s the idea of separation of giving and receiving.

Often, we tend to engage with our lovers simultaneously into various pleasure-filled activities when we’re both giving and receiving sensations and pleasure at the same time. Though its fun and could be very rewarding, separation of giving and receiving is used a lot in Tantra, BDSM and allows each of us to fully give and fully receive the energy.

When I’m in control of giving, I can plan the experience intricately weaving different stimulation sensations, taking away senses, focusing on dirty talk or playing out a role based on which emotions / reactions I’d like to trigger. I can also focus on channeling my energy fully and enjoy the feeling of giving the pleasure, experiencing the control over the other person (or domination, sensation play, role play etc. depending on my intent). In turn, this allows my partner(s) to fully be in the moment, not worry about me or my pleasure, receive multidimensionally and mindfully concentrating solely on their own experiences.

When I’m allowed to fully receive without needing to reciprocate for a period of time, I can fully deepen into my experience, sensations, energy movement, fantasy, suggestive imagery etc. and deeply enjoy being dominated / controlled / worshipped, pleasured etc.

Do you like separating giving and receiving while playing with your partner(s)? What do you enjoy the most when it comes to being fully receive or give pleasure?