CommunicationsPersonal GrowthQuestion and AnswerRelationshipsSex Education

Q & A: Group Sex

group sex
How to safely explore Swinging / Group sex

Q: Evguenia, my partner and I would like to know how to safely explore swinging / group sex. Please let me know! J. D.

A: Thank you J! Group sex or swinging are some of the more common fantasies people have. Below are a few points to consider when one is thinking of exploring the group sex dynamic:

  • Possible configurations
  • Where to meet potential partners
  • Setting expectations and play boundary dynamics
  • Intention
  • Sex Safety

Let me speak on each of these briefly below.

Possible configurations

Possible configurations are threesomes: FFM, FMF, MMF, MFM (Did you know that placement of each letter denotes which partner plays with whom? For example, FFM stands for a bisexual threesome where there’s a female in the middle and plays with both male and another female) Also, foursome (swapping), orgy, gang bang etc.

Where to meet potential partners

Easiest way to meet like minded people / couples is at Sex Clubs (please see my Video on Sex Clubs here) or online on Dating sites for singles or couples (look for swingers’ dating sites). BTW, I’m offering a Private Sex club overview tour on July 29th at 6.45pm – please pm for details if you’d like me to accompany you and be your personal guide into the world of Adult Playgrounds.

Setting expectations and play boundary dynamics, communications

Prior to engaging with others into any type of play, please think of what you’d like the experience to be like. Are there any fantasies you’d like to meet? Anything you’d like to learn about yourself or others, face a fear, try something new and exciting?

Please make sure you also understand your boundaries as a couple if you’re bringing other people in and find out their likes or dislikes.  If you’re a single person looking for others to play with – please enquire about everyone else’s preferences and share yours to make sure everyone is on the same page and openly communicates their turn ons and turn offs, hard and soft limits (i.e. things they would never try versus something they may want to explore).

In communicating your preferences, please consider following a few sexy suggestions from my previous blog entry on Sexy Communication

Intention

Best group sex usually is based on a common intention of:

  • Making sure everyone is taken care of
  • On-going checks internally and externally for consent
  • Providing clear communication

Sex Safety

Please make sure you have a safe sex conversation prior to engaging into any type of play. This could include asking background information, recent test results sharing (keeping in mind that not all STIs are being tested for during routine STI tests).

Please also consider using various barrier methods including condoms, dental dam, gloves, finger cots etc. Mutual masturbation, non sexual BDSM play and using own toys (or placing a condom on shared ones and switching between partners) are also some of the safer ways to enjoy the experience.

Would you like to learn how to navigate the group sex dynamic? Discover more on communications, negotiations and risk mitigation practices? Please contact me for the Group Sex Education workshop

 

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