Part two of Erotic story on Self Love: Journey towards Self Pleasure and Acceptance
Part one is available Here.
Going through life, growing up, becoming sexually interested and excited. Fantasizing about others, looking at herself in the mirror, getting aroused… And NEVER touching herself. As though there was an invisible wall that surrounded her whole body. Touch was allowed, but not for pleasure. Bathe, dry, dress, take care – but not enjoy. Feeling like a prisoner in the outer-imposed walls of prudishness and conformity.
Fantasizing of others – caressing her, raping her, undressing in front of a mirror. Wishing someone to come and penetrate this notion of separateness… Staying without a release. For years. In a self-induced subconscious chastity.
The hold of this rule was so strong that even later in life, Alice has only allowed others to touch her. Never herself. Her orgasms always belonged to others. One time she even ended up cheating on a person she loved because she couldn’t sustain this inner hunger of sexual tension while being away from him for several months…
… Stroking her nipples more, directing the shower head towards her clitoris, playing with it using her hand. Just where the most pleasure resided. She knew exactly how to touch and where to stroke, her body so soft and pliable. Gentle, sensitive, receiving. SELF-LOVE. It all starts from here. How can Alice emanate this beautiful sexual energy without enjoying it herself. How can she embody her inner Goddess without owning it. How could there be an outer love without the love of the self…
It took her years of experiences, patient, reflective and self-confident partners, books and deep inner search to penetrate this invisible wall to the Garden of Eden. And NOW she was in this magnificent garden alone and yet – complete. That’s all she needed. No serpents, Adams, or Gods.
Actually, this was a spiritual experience… She was emanating the light of sexuality, unity and love. The energy of inner confidence, embodying her inner Goddess, seductress. Letting that little girl inside of her love herself just as she was. Without the shame and guilt of socially accepted constructs.
She pressed her clitoris firmly and squirted strongly in a fountain of pleasure. “Welcome home”, – she thought. ”You’re the one I’ve been waiting for”.