pain Archives - spiritsexlab.com

Would you like to take control in the bedroom?

Exude confidence paired up with inner strength? Embrace your inner Disciplinarian? Or would you like to submit to a strong Dominant partner?

When creating a Domination / Submission experience, please consider:

The kind of fantasy you’d like to play out

Would you use an element of bondage? (verbal directions to prevent your partner from moving, handcuffs, a rope or a tie)
Would you ask your submissive (sub) to service you? (Examples could include giving you pleasure, a massage, telling you compliments)
Would you punish them if they were disobedient? If so, in what way?

Incredible Impact Scene by Alex Dark: coming during October 29th Sex Club Tour

I’m incredibly excited to announce one of our featured kinky scenes by an incredible impact play artist, lifestyle Dom, amazing kink party organizer and my close friend Alex Dark.

Around 10:45pm, in the dungeon of the Xclub as part of our guided Sex Club tour, Alex will be doing a powerful impact scene demo – spanking, flogging, paddling. He will take us through his many devious toys and showcase wonderful ways to playfully introduce sensation play into sensual connection repertoire. Can’t wait to witness this wonderful scene and learn 🙂

Feeling of aversion or attachment

Oh how timely, as I’m navigating trouble in paradise period of my poly relationship life… Honestly, as much as I’d love to dream of letting go of attachments, and just being in the now not trying to long for or control / need my partners to do something specific, I can’t. I love loving, being deeply attached, feeling the connection. And so I don’t know how practical is it to completely let go of attachments, instead, perhaps what we can attempt to do is witness it all from the side. Align with best part of ourselves during the conflict resolution phase and have open / non defensive communication supported by a common intention. Thoughts?

Witness the thoughts.

FOCUS IS EVERYTHING. Shifting focus from being in the epicenter of the painful emotions to becoming the space around them. Witnessing the pain, fear, anger, rage while holding space for yourself takes an edge on and allows to settle down and soften the pain. “Pain is the mind. It’s the thoughts of the mind. Then I get rid of the thoughts, and I get in my witness, which is down in my spiritual heart. The witness that witnesses being. Then those particular thoughts that are painful – love them.”

Ram Dass

Managing difficult emotions

LEARNING TO MANAGE DIFFICULT EMOTIONS

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” — Sigmund Freud

… Pain. This familiar intense feeling of burning usually starts just below my navel, radiating up through my chest… Creating an excruciating pressing sensation between my breasts and moving up towards the throat. This energy – wanting to come out as a scream, a cry… Tears appearing and pouring out of my eyes. And another wave – covering me head to toe…

What we have to discover

“What we have to discover is that there’s no safety, that seeking is painful, and that when we imagine that we have found it, we don’t like it.”

Alan Watts

I remember reading a book called “The happiness trap” It’s centered around a premise that happiness is an elusive state. Highly valued, relentlessly perused, rarely experienced. Ironically, the harder we try to buy, seize, or closet happiness, the less likely we are to be happy. Indeed, even talking about “how we can be happy” often leaves us with a sense of dissatisfaction – the happiness trap.